Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Throw Out the Dirty Laundry of Past Relationships After Divorce
I don’t know why we do this, but we do. I continue to mindlessly play sad games of laundry roulette that never turn out in my favor.
You know it’s true. We sniff laundry on the floor to see if it’s clean or dirty. We act like it’s a big deal to just throw it in with the dirty clothes. We regret it afterward and vow to never subject ourselves to that idiocy again.
But, then we do.
It’s the epitome of history repeating itself at a sad, basic, level. German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, (who sported one heck of a mustache) examined humans repeating behavior in his writings about “eternal recurrence.” You know, history repeating itself and all of that.
Nietzsche would probably roll in his grave if he knew some chick referenced his work in a blog about sniffing dirty laundry.
I mean, sniffing laundry? Really? Well, yeah.
We do lots of things again that aren’t really our best choices. We repeat past behavior. I have a whole laundry list of mine. And sometimes those choices manifest themselves in many ways, especially in relationships.
Sometimes folks get out of a bad relationship just to jump right into another one. It’s sniffing laundry but with much greater implications.
We don’t just have to smell the stink, but our children do too, and you can’t just throw that dude or chick in the washer with some bleach and they come out all clean.
When children are involved, it’s not just us anymore. Our relationships implicate them. Showing them a series of bad relationships just concretes the model they had during the marriage that led to the divorce.
Divorce statistics for second and third marriages are even higher than the ones for initial nuptials.
Maybe, after the numero uno split, you should do your own laundry for awhile.
Get yourself clean. Find out what you want and what you like and what you didn’t like about your former spouse or yourself before leaping in and whiffing in the problems, baggage, and issues of someone else’s dirty clothes.
Give yourself a chance to air out your own spots, grass stains, and underarm odor before introducing someone else into the picture. Clean and refresh yourself. Make a new laundry list of what you expect from a positive, crisp, sweet smelling relationship.
You can change your life cycle, just like you change the laundry cycle. Do it heavy duty or delicate, remembering that this time your children are in the spin cycle with you.
(Enriching Music: Dirty Laundry, by Don Henley, Gilmer, Texas native)